Milliband Versus Cameron (The EdStone Highlights!)

During the run up to the UK election, the war between UK party leaders took a comic twist:

Milliband: I have carved the Labour party pledges into a giant phallic stone and I shall plant this pointless rock in the garden of Number 10 Downing St when I win.

Cameron: Oh it’s a carving you want, is it? Well I am going to build a “giant laser” and use it to carve the Tory party pledges on the surface of the moon.

Milliband: Think that’s good, do you? Well I’m going to burn the Labour party pledges onto a platinum disc and then fire it into space so that the whole freaking galaxy can witness my commitment.

Cameron: Commitment? I’ll give you commitment… I’m going to disembowel myself with a wooden spoon and spell out the Tory manifesto using pieces of my own intestines.

Milliband: Ha! You think that takes guts? I’ll tattoo the entire Labour party manifesto onto my knob and send my dick pic to every voter in Britain!

Cameron: Screw you! I’ll invent time travel and then go back a billion years so that I can imprint Tory values into the DNA of the primordial sludge from which we all developed!

Milliband: You want sludge do you? Well I’ll have a threesome with Nicola Sturgeon and Nigel Farage and film the whole event so that I can post it on Youtube!

Cameron: Um…can I join in?

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